Moments are truly fleeting and here I am, going along with the current. An influx of changes took over my life for a month or two. It definitely is a big deal for me since all I've been up to for the past two years were basic mundane tasks. But surprise, surprise, I took a huge leap, albeit baby steps for others.
My fear for the uncertain has not changed at all. It hasn't lessened nor increased. It remains the same—as strong as before. But I'm learning to come to terms with it. It is something that is inevitable. I fear something that cannot be avoided and is always existing. I must learn to coexist with it. And instead of using it as a fear of mine, I must use it as a fuel. I need to set my mind and heart that this uncertainty is a friend. This is something that I can use to my advantage. It may be scary, to lurk in the darkness and without knowing the possibilities. But that could be a good thing, right? Prepare yourself for the worse, but always hope for the best. The result may not be ideal, but one thing is for sure: you've experienced and you've learned. Experiences equates to learning. Learning equates to growth.
Facing this fear hasn't been easy. I've gotten used to the comfort of the four walls of my room, including my pseudo-walls as well. Taking risks and exposing myself to the unknown seems like a new experience for me. I've been mentally preparing myself for months for this kind of situation. But it really is different when you're actually in it already. I guess it really is different when you do the walk than just do the talk.
Worries aside, I am beyond blessed to be surrounded by such supportive beings. All of them are understanding and so open minded. One important thing to have when battling out your mental health issues is having a strong support system. I know that it really is hard to start opening up and trusting people, but as cliché as it sounds, no man is an island. I'm glad that I'm slowly coming out of my shell and learning to trust others. Baby steps, indeed.
Well, to end this quick update, I hope the last few weeks of the year will give us nothing but opportunities and room for growth. I really have high hopes for the next year. I hope you're well, stranger.
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